On My Mind; In My Life

Live Life The Way You Want To!

2010-11-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

I loved the punchline in the March 29th "Heart of the City" comic strip. "What's the point of life if you're afraid of getting caught living it."

How appropriate for those of us who worry about people finding out what we like to do in our own time! In his book Sit Down And Shut Up, Brad Warner says, "It's hard to worry what other people might think when you realize their thoughts are just as dopey and meaningless as ours". I think that's the key. If we listen to our hearts, and live our lives like we know we should, we'll be fine!

Beginning Anew

2010-11-16T14:46:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted on my blog in a while. I was at a point in my life when I didn't feel like saying too much. Everything in life is always in transition, and in my case it was especially transitory because my mind was in transition. Now that I am comfortable with where my mind is, and I've accepted the transitory nature of my life, I'm back to talking about it.

In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig wrote, "You are never dedicated to something that you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kind of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt." I have found that when I start to espouse an idea to multiple people, when I find myself repeating myself, I am really trying to convince myself. I think that was why I started this blog. Now I think I have moved on; I'm at a phase in my life where I have things to say but I don't feel compelled to say them. I would like speak up all the same, because what I have to say may be useful to others. I'm sure I will once again find myself trying to convince myself, but I also think that I'm at a place where I have the wherewithal to notice what I'm doing and step back.

So here goes ...

Peace of Mind

2010-03-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday got me thinking about what Black's Beach means to me. I went down to Black's on a day when the forecast called for clouds in the morning with sunny skies breaking out at midday. I got there at about noon. A mile from the beach it was bright and sunny ... but at the beach itself it was cloudy. I decided to go down anyway, and I'm glad I did because I had a wonderful time, even though I never saw the sun.

It didn't start getting chilly until about 4pm, so I was comfortable being nude for a while. Between a bit of reading, a bit of dozing, a bit of sitting meditation and my interaction with a squirrel (who really wanted into my bag), I had a great time. I realized that the sun is nice, warm water is nice (it was cold!), but that's not the only reason I love Black's. I can see myself going there all wrapped up next Winter just to feel the peace. (I think that will have to be on a sunny day since I don't handle cold too well.)

At the end of the day, what are we all looking for? I'm looking for peace of mind. That's why I meditate, that's why I read, that's why I listen to music, and that's why I sometimes leave the music off. For a shot of peace, I spend a day at Black's.

Why Black's Beach? Why not any other beach? I have tried other beaches, so I know it's not just the beach that I'm looking for. I think it's the feeling of the place, the fact that I can shed my clothes and it's just nature and me. Sometimes, it's nice to sit down or lie down directly on the sand and really feel the earth under me. Doing the same thing anywhere else will also feel good, but there aren't too many places where you can be nude, enjoy nature, and not be bothered by someone being bothered by what you're doing or not doing! I intend to try some of the other places where I can do the same in due course, but I'm in no big hurry. Peace of mind has come from not rushing to do what I think I could be doing. It has come from learning to enjoy the here and now, for the here and now.

The Sheer Joy of the Beach!

2010-03-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article about censorship and stumbled onto Amy Greenfield's YouTube channel. The video "TIDES" beautifully captures the sheer joy of playing in the water on the beach.

Meditating on the Beach ... not quite!

2010-02-16T16:51:00.000-08:00

I spent a wonderful day on the beach yesterday. There weren't too many of the Black's Beach Bares regulars, but the volleyball players were there as usual. I finished the book I was reading - "Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate" by Brad Warner. Another awesome book, just like his first book. This was his third book - I'll have to double back to the second book after this one. It called my name, and I had to read it. It's weird how his life seems to be a metaphorical version of mine in so many ways!

I did attempt to meditate/sit on the beach. The beach is a really nice place to meditate even if it isn't the quietest place in the world. The sound of the ocean successfully puts all other sounds in the background. There was only one problem ... the flies! I kept brushing them away while I read, but that was a background process. I didn't realize before I attempted to meditate how much of a distraction they would be. It's hard to clear your mind when all you are doing in chasing away flies. It was an interesting exercise while it lasted, but meditation in the beach will ideally have to wait for Spring when the flies have moved on. (I wonder where they go ... Do they move back North when it warms up there? Do flies migrate?)

Spirituality and Nudism

2010-01-11T19:02:00.000-08:00

There may be no inherent connection between spirituality and nudism, but for me they go hand in hand. Before I go further, I should define what I mean by spirituality. Webster's dictionary defines spirituality as "the quality or state of being spiritual", and defines spiritual as "of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit".

Taken in context with those definitions, nudism has been a spiritual experience for me. It uplifts my spirit, just as meditation does. And just as regular meditation gives me peace of mind, the ability to focus and a general state of wellness, nudism does too. Empirically proving that meditation helps me in the ways I've described is easy - if I stop, I see the benefits gradually diminish, and if I start again, I see the benefits kick back in. Similarly, if I cannot be a nudist for a while, I see the benefits diminish, and vice versa.

I concede that it may not be easy to make the connection between cause and effect. We are after all human beings with complex variables that continually affect us, so narrowing down the specific cause and the specific effect is not easy. I have however found a correlation in my state of mind and nudism, just as I have with meditation. Of course, I combine the two whenever I can, as the accompanying photograph shows ...

Talking To Others About Being a Nudist

2010-01-09T14:13:00.000-08:00

In the past, I haven't told too many people that I'm a nudist. I've wanted to, but I've hesitated. Lately I've mentioned it to some friends by steering the conversation towards the topic and there has always been acceptance, which has been mildly surprising.

From now on, I plan to speak about my being a nudist openly if it comes up in conversation, but not go out of my way to bring the subject up. Hesitation, worrying about what others will think, and bringing it up as though it is unusual will only lead to others thinking that I myself believe there is something wrong with nudism. Talking about it as a matter-of-fact will show others that it really is something normal; it's just another life choice. I guess this is part of my evolution as a nudist. Unless I fully accept my decisions myself, I really can't expect others to accept them, can I?

This WILL be a Happy Nude Year!

2010-01-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

This is a fairly long post, and at first glance it may seem to have nothing to do with the title of the post ... but stick with my long-winded thought process ...

2009 was a year of transformation for me. At the beginning of 2009, my mind was a mess. I had hit an all-time low personally and professionally. From the outside, things might have looked the same as they always had - I lived in the same house with the same family, I interacted with mostly the same folks, and I worked at the same job. But internally, it all came crashing down. One year later, at the beginning of 2010, my life is looking better than it ever has!

As part of the transformation, I discovered who I really am. I discovered that I really do like simplicity, I really do want to leave a small footprint, I really am a vegetarian, I like to read a lot, I am comfortable with quietness, I function best when I have routine in my life - from meditating and exercising regularly to sleeping early and getting up early - and I really am a nudist. I sometimes wondered if some of these were just silly notions, but now I know that they are really who I am. Discovering, embracing, and accepting who I really am has given me peace of mind and calmness. As a result I also have a better relationship with my family and I am more productive at work.

A few good friends, and many good books helped me through this year. A couple of books had an especially large influence on my transformation - The Three Marriages by David Whyte and Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner. I read them both twice in 2009, and didn't get bored the second time around!

I also started to write in 2009. I had intense feelings that I just had to express, and decided to do so in a journal. To my surprise, they came out as poems. I had never written poetry, and had never thought myself capable of it, but there is was to my surprise. I also started writing this blog.

2009 started with sickness; not your normal definition of mental sickness, but it was sickness all the same. Let's just say I had a problem with all kinds of relationships - with others, with my work and with myself. Nudism turned was the key to my recovery. Initially, there was one problem with it - the problem of acceptance by my family. Patience and perseverance has finally led to their acceptance, and that's why I think 2010 is going to be a Happy Nude Year! On the 3rd of January, I went to Black's Beach for the first time with no reservations on their part, and it was a more beautiful and peaceful feeling than ever before.

The future seems bright and clear since the present is the only thing that really matters. Here's to many happy days at the beach, and continuous progress!

Simplicity

2009-12-01T14:15:00.000-08:00

Why do we humans make things so complicated that they become unsustainable?

As part of the re-thinking of my life that I have gone through in the past year, I've realized that one of the things I want in life is simplicity. The simplicity I seek isn't in the extreme. I am not looking to isolate myself from civilization. I'm seeking simplicity in everything I do as a functioning member of society. No more keeping up with the Jones' (something I thought I didn't do, but I now see I did to some extent), no more buying things for the heck of it, no more complicating my life just because I can.

Complexity in everything we do seems to be human nature. Take agriculture - we have made agriculture so complex that it appears to only be economically viable with large farms that pump chemicals into the ground and use more water than they should. The costs of this type of production are high because of the chemicals, effort and water used. The land used loses it's efficacy over time and eventually it takes a small change in the system to make it unsustainable. We should be working with nature rather than fighting nature. Besides, chemical farming only appears to be a better method because we subsidize it.

At the other end of the technology spectrum, take cars. Cars have become amazingly complex. The backyard mechanic is practically non-existent. A lot of the change in cars has been for better safety and so on, but companies like Lotus demonstrate that we have gone too far. Most manufacturers throw technology at a problem to solve problems created by other technologies until we have a behemoth that guzzles fuel and consumes more resources than it should at birth. Lotus on the other hand is based on smart design so that you get supercar performance combined with great fuel consumption from a much cheaper, much lighter car.

In whatever I do, I'm going to think simplicity. I'm not going to be a fanatic about it, but I know it will improve the quality of my life as it already has.

Are we fooling ourselves?

2009-11-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

One thing that I've wondered through my foray into nudism is, "Am I fooling myself into thinking nudism is a wholesome activity and that it really brings me peace of mind or this a fringe, slightly crazy activity as those who oppose it claim?" For that matter, are all of us nudists fooling ourselves into thinking that nudism is what we think it is and not what opponents and critics claim it is?

I recently read a book called Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. In the book the author, a Psychologist, talks about how inaccurate we are when we try to remember the past or imagine the future. It's amazing how inaccurate we are when we try to imagine what an experience will feel like based on a description of the experience.

"... imagination fails to provide us with accurate previews of our emotional futures. ... when we imagine our futures we tend to fill in, leave out, and take little account of how differently we think about the future once we actually get there."

The most accurate method of estimating what something will feel like is to base that estimate on what someone who has experienced the same thing felt like, while they were going through the experience. This is more accurate than trying to imagine what the experience will feel like.

"... when people tell us about their current experiences, they are providing us with the kind of report about their subjective state that is considered the gold standard of happiness measures."

So what should we do when we want to know what an experience will feel like? We should trust in others' experiences!

"... we should give up on remembering and imagining entirely and use other people as surrogates for our future selves."

We tend to think that we would feel differently from how someone else felt during an experience because we are unique people and the other person may be very different from us. However, the other person's experience is still more accurate than trying to imagine it ourselves.

"... the experience of a single randomly selected individual can sometimes provide a better basis for predicting your future experience than your own imagination can."

So how does this relate to nudism? The subject matter in Stumbling on Happiness suggests that we are not fooling ourselves. We have time and again seen or heard how folks who were sceptical before they dove into nudism have absolutely loved nudism once they tried it. Even among those who tried it and stopped many did so because of societal pressures, or some idiot who bothered them, but not because they realized nudism is a weird activity or any such realization.

I don't think I'm going to have doubts about nudism or naturism again. I have experienced it, and that experience is as real as it gets. Someone else's opinion, based on their imagining what nudism is, will never be any more accurate than my experience. The peace and joy that comes from nudism is very, very real! And I know that social nudism is as wholesome as any activity as you can be involved in.

More Zen Than Nudism!

2009-10-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things slow you down
Whether it's work or play
You try to keep moving on
But circumstances force you to stay

When things get bad, realize this
It usually comes from something
You can't get, it starts to bug you
Like objections to your lack of clothing

At times like these, take a deep breath
Don't worry about future or past
Right now, live in this moment
It will go fast, it will not last

To further expand on my previous post on Zen and Nudism ... Nudism gave me peace of mind and helped me get past some of the mental blocks that were holding me back. And then ... when the objections to my nudism came fast and furious (literally!), I had to make choices. The choice I made resulted in restrictions to my nudist lifestyle and that started to get me down. I know - and knew - that I myself had made that choice, but every now and then I couldn't help thinking that it would be perfect if I could have it both ways.

The thought of having it both ways plays a number on my mind. I start to live in the future, and miss out on the present. But the present is our only reality. I would squander away minutes, hours or days of my life before I snapped out of it. And that's where Zen has helped me. Meditation gives me the stability that I seek and the ability to see things the way they are, to see reality for what it is. Having goals and a vision for the future is good, because it prevents me from drifting, but living in that future is a waste of time. I find it easy to intellectually understand the concept of living in the moment, but difficult to live my life by it. Meditation gives me that ability.

Zen and Nudism

2009-09-21T13:13:00.001-07:00

I've been re-reading Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner. The book is a must read for anyone even remotely interested in the subject. The author is a former Punk Rocker, works in Japan making monster movies, and is a Zen Teacher in Japan. He presents a hilarious and wonderfully irreverent look at Zen.

Quoting from pg 55,
Every single human being in the world at some time thinks that "if only" this or that one of our conditions could be met then we'd be all set. ... Think again.
...
We always want to believe that somewhere there's a perfect situation, if only we weren't barred from it. But that's not the reality.
...
Maybe your lot right now could be improved. I know mine could. And working to make things better is great. But we don't just work to make things better and leave it at that, do we? We live in the idealized world inside our heads. And that keeps us from ever really enjoying what we have right now ...

It's not a new concept, but it got me to thinking about those of us who have family that don't approve of our inclination for nudism, how that plays on our minds, and the potential for unhappiness as a result of it. We do have the freedom and potential to change the situation, but we may be reluctant to do so. The reluctance most likely stems from a decision we've made based on priorities we've set ourselves - the decision that the circumstances that prevent us from pursuing our particular interest (e.g. nudism) is not worth losing something else (e.g. family).

If we don't fret, but keep working on creating more situations to experience nudism, and enjoy what opportunities pop up in our daily lives while we work on getting to where we would like to be, we'll be a lot happier and a lot more at peace.

This also applies to nudism, and life, in general. With the restrictions that are placed on our lifestyle by society, it can get frustrating, but if we enjoy what we do have we'll be better off for it. That doesn't mean we accept the restrictions if we don't want to. We must constantly work towards where we would like to be, but we must live in the current moment. If we live in the future, we may very well discover when we get there that the future is not what we had hoped for and, even if it is what we hoped for, we needlessly wasted the time we spent waiting to get there.

Balancing Act

2009-09-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to make it to the beach the past three weekends and I'm really waiting for this weekend to come around so I can make my way to Black's Beach.

I have often wondered what it is that compels me to get my regular fix of Black's. I get to spend some part of the day nude at home, so I do get a partial fix almost every day, but that hasn't proven very satisfactory. Is social nudism the necessary ingredient? It could be that since my home is an environment that's not fully supportive or accepting of nudism, nudism at home results in relaxation with a hint of tension. Maybe it's the feeling of complete relaxation at the beach that makes it so special. Or maybe it's just the people - being with people who are open-minded and willing to accept you for what you are, warts and all!

It would be wonderful to live in a world where clothes were optional, whether at home, or work, or play. However, we have to balance what we have with what we need. How does one find that balance without driving oneself insane? There's no easy answer to that question. We live in a constantly changing world and requires continuous evaluation of where we are and where we want to go, and a continuous search for the right balance. Just like everything we deal with in life!

Social Nudism

2009-08-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks have seen new angles in my foray into social nudism. Before that, it was something that my wife just didn't accept, and it created conflict between us. The past couple of weeks have been great because there is now acceptance on her part, and I have had a chance to think of my feelings on social nudism.

There's been a wonderful crowd at Black's Beach the past couple of Sundays. In addition, last Sunday I was honored to be part of a wedding. The Black's Beach Bares make their area of the beach very inviting and you feel safe and part of a family when you're there. Being there in a more relaxed frame of mind, I felt more free to chat with folks. I also read my book(s), use the boogie boards the Bares have on hand to ride the waves, body surfed, and just plain relaxed.

Social nudism and home nudism both feel good thanks to the lack of restrictions of clothes. (Saves on cooling costs too! :-) ) Social nudism goes beyond home nudism with the way people perceive each other. Shapes and sizes don't matter. When you talk to someone, you're just talking to them. I don't know how else to describe the openness of my conversations on Black's. The people I've met are wonderful and accepting, and in a short time I already feel like I have a connection to them as fellow human beings. I'm looking forward to many more Sundays at Black's!

Black's Beach

2009-07-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

I lie on the hot sand
Face turned to the side
Arms above my head
The sun beating down on my back

I hear the murmurs
Of people talking
Over the roar of the ocean
As I drift into semi-consciousness

I crack an eye open
See the sweat glisten
As it seeps from my arm
A little rivulet in the crook of my elbow

I love it here
It's peaceful and serene
This beach is special
The happy place I've been looking for

Children Without Clothes

2009-07-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

The Political Naturist has a nice blog post on a New York Times article, "When Do They Need a Fig Leaf?"

The Meaning of Life

2009-07-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Roger Cohen has a wonderful article in the New York times on The Meaning of Life.

Now that's why nudists/naturists do what we do! There's no question it improves our quality of life.

Social Expectations

2009-07-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much we do because of society's expectations. I just got done with a couple of weeks that have left me exhausted because of social obligations that resulted in my having to do more in those two weeks than I should have had to. When I look back, it was as if I was living through my regular life, while adding another in parallel. And why did I do it? Because it was expected of me. What if I hadn't done all of it? Well, there were friendships that could have been ruffled.

Keeping my nudism silent is similar. Why do I have to keep it under wraps? Because of the potential social consequences! The argument for following society's agenda is that we shouldn't be living our lives selfishly, performing tasks that benefit only ourselves. On the other hand, a lot of what we do is unnecessary and is not selfless, since we begrudge what we do. If we follow our hearts, and interact empathetically with people who come into our lives, what we do will be selfless and will be done out of love, not obligation. If we all followed our hearts, I suspect we'd move towards a balance that will be better for all of us; the world would be a better place.

What a Lovely Day!

2009-07-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today was an abbreviated but satisfying day at the beach. I took an extra-long lunch break and made it down to Black's. I met a few of the Black's Beach Bares, and a wonderful couple from Arizona. My stay was short - I spent just an hour and a half there - but it was absolutely terrific, if a bit warmer than it's been. I'm still on a high from it.

Today, as I lay on the sand, I was thinking about how I'd like my life to be. I realized that it's really close to where I want it to be, it just needs a little tweaking. I think we spend too much of our time worrying about what's wrong, instead of enjoying what's right. This trip to Black's is a good example - I could have fretted about not being able to be there for the whole day, but instead I enjoyed the time I did spend there. The calmness to see things clearly comes from meditation, which I really should start practicing regularly, or from being a nudist. Lying on Black's, or sitting at the water's edge as it washes over me, is truly a meditative experience!

Getting Back on Track

2009-07-07T18:10:00.001-07:00

It's interesting how one event can push you so far off track that it takes a little therapy to get back on track. My visit to Vegas left my mind all askew. Without going too far into my history, let me just say that I have a history of problems with sex - it used to be that I'd get a yearning for sex where it would build up to a point where it controlled my daily life. I've been "good" for a while, but the Vegas trip and all it entailed threw me for a bit of a loop. So, today I sought naturism therapy ...

There's nothing to me as therapeutic as going to the nude beach, relaxing on the sand and swimming in the water. Today was a lovely day with a clear blue sky. I took a long lunch break and went down to Black's Beach. There were a larger number of people than usual for the middle of the day as a result of the great weather. I put my sunblock on, lay down for a bit, then went for a swim, ate the lunch that I'd brought with me, then lay down for a little longer than earlier and just reelllaaaaxxxxxeeeeeeddddddd! I got up after a while with my head now back in order and went for another swim to wash off the sand - I love to lie down directly on the sand with my towel only under my head. I body surfed and caught a few nice waves, then wiped up, headed to the trail, wore my shorts and t-shirt and got back to work for a productive afternoon!

Ahhh! Naturism therapy!

Nude is the Opposite of Sexy!

2009-07-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Nude beaches make an interesting contrast with textile beaches. On nude beaches, even if you see someone who has a "great" body, it doesn't elicit the same kind of reaction as seeing a "great" body on a textile beach does. On textile beaches, the clothing someone wears is the biggest indication of intention, of where one stands on the sexiness scale (or thinks he or she stands), and of the perception of the wearer by others. On a nude beach we're all equal, all there as we are, accepting of everyone and the sexiness factor disappears rapidly when one first experiences social nudism.

I was in Las Vegas, a city I dislike but where I had to go for an event, and I realized when looking at the way people dressed that without clothes, the city would lose it's appeal. All I had to do when I saw someone dressed to impress was imagine them without clothes, and they were suddenly very normal. The clothes they were wearing made it easy to see what their bodies were really like, so this was easy to do! Before I really got into nudism, when I tried the same exercise (which I admit I did), the result was very difficult. The assumption was that the "enhancements" that clothes made to their figures would stay even if they weren't wearing those clothes.

When I look back, I've had similar reactions when I first saw someone naked - there was an assumption of how they looked without clothes, and then when that assumption was negated, there was a subconscious negative reaction. There was a lack of acceptance that we're all different, and all beautiful in that difference.

The Political Naturist has been covering the problems that Jasmine Trail Nudist Resort in North Carolina is going through. It's possible for the DA to make nudism an issue only because the general population hasn't tried social nudism. If they had, they would realize that it's far less sex-related than the behavior you see on a regular textile beach.

If you haven't tried social nudism, you have to for your mental health!

Why Nudism/Naturism?

2009-07-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

The main reason I'm into nudism/naturism is psychological. For me, nudism is calming. I find it so easy to get into a meditative state when I'm nude. In addition, social nudity - as in visiting the nude beach - changed the way I look at others. I had a tendency to look at a body first and miss the face, and somehow being nude with others took that away. I now look at faces first, and I must say, faces are so much more interesting!

Here's a link I found to a wonderful article that talks about the calmness of being nude. It's a bit of a Zen article, in that it's subtle, yet illustrative: The Political Naturist: The Naturism of Rising Sun Farm in River Falls, Wisconsin

I suspect I'll talk about the mental aspects of nudism more as time goes by.

Here I go ...

2009-06-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted this first post to be an introduction. And then I wondered, what do you put in an introduction? How do you introduce what has taken decades to assemble? Is there a way to sum up my thoughts, my life, what I intend to type here when it hasn't yet happened, and make it interesting enough to appeal to those who might read it? And is that why I'm writing a blog - to attract a following? I don't know ...

That's why, I started to set up this blog yesterday, but never did put anything down. And then today happened. It was an interesting day, one that started off like many others, and then like many days recently, it took a turn.

Let me start by saying I'm a nudist, I guess you could define me as a closet nudist. Not many people know about my nudism, my family doesn't accept it, and this morning I was going to put it on hold or out of my mind for the foreseeable future. And then the sun came out, I went out for lunch, and it drew me in through the afternoon until it got to the point where I could not stand staying in anymore. So when I could in the afternoon, I went to the beach, didn't get a parking spot (not that I looked much), and used that as an excuse to go to Black's Beach (yes, I'm in San Diego). I'm glad I did. I took my profile photograph there, and even though I wasn't prepared for the beach, I had a good couple of hours communing with the sun, the sand and the water.

And that's how I decided to write my "introduction". I decided that it will be an introduction in steps. It's going to be easier to get right to it and start putting down my thoughts, and narrating my stories, and over time I will have introduced myself. That is, after all, how one finds out about others all the time. Any initial introduction is very limited. It's our subsequent interactions that really help us to get to know others.